Your Guide to Acura's Naming Scheme

"Wobbles the Mind" (wobblesthemind)
06/10/2016 at 07:35 • Filed to: Acura

Today I’m going to walk you through the amazing world of Acura’s naming scheme. Hope you brought a snorkel and a helmet because we’re about to go deep!

That’s a pretty clever badge, I wonder how Honda came up with it...

Those crafty kittens! The scariest part is that the same level of ingenuity went into creating Acura’s naming scheme, so let’s make like a 9-speed and start breaking down some parts here.

The Constructs of a Name

All modern Acura models receive a total of THREE letters in their model names. NO NUMBERS...EVER!! That’s because enthusiasts hate alphanumerics! The exception is when the alphanumericals have been used for a longer period than an enthusiast has been alive. The first priority at Acura is making sure the enthusiasts are happy. Domo arigato, Acura!

To begin, the first letter in the model name means absolutely nothing . Oh snap, look at that! We’re already 33% finished with this!!

The last letter is always an “ X .” How simple is that?! You might as well call me Summer Hoover because hot damn!

Alright, let’s do a quick recap since we just had a lot information rapidly punching your knowledge sacks. For review:

Modern Acura’s are made up of three-letter combinations. Numbers are for the tarmac, not the trunk!

First letter is entirely random. There’s no heirarchy, meaning, consistency, or any type of logic behind them so pick your favorite, kiddos!

Third letter is always an “X” because Acura gon’ give it to ya. Actually it stood for “eXperimental” when the NSX was first introduced, however it currently stands for “eXperience.” It’s also a great tactic since buyers are conditioned to think an “X” denotes crossover. If you know a better way of selling a sedan, I don’t want to hear it.

As you may have figured out, the second letter is the stodgy workaholic that you can’t tell whether or not they are being sarcastic or suffering from an unfortunate speech impediment.

“Hey Phil! Where are the coffee cups?”

“I don’t knooowww, Ted. Did you tryyy checking by the coffee machine?!”

F*ck Phil, he’s such a dickwheat! * alternatively: Poor Phil, he’s such an inspiration! * Acura’s second letter is a Phil, a philler if you will. It sometimes usually but not quite always denotes the bodystyle of the vehicle. But far more often than unoftenly it probably actually denotes the alleged “character” of the vehicle, supposedly. Currently there are only three options, most likely:

L is for Legend , which was Acura’s most famous sedan and a constant reminder that they don’t make it but remember it and hope you do too! (But don’t remember it too much...)

S is for Sports . The bodystyle doesn’t really matter as long as it sports on occasion (unlikely the correct occasion). Much like real sports, most are arguably just hobbies that take money away from people recreationally!

D is for Domicile which herr der crizzoafers. *cough* Excuse me, I derped briefly. *clears throat abundantly* Im sure you are familiar with !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . It’s standard issue in Georgia (the Yurop one, not the ‘Murican one. That version is simply called Atlanta in most of the US anyways).

C is for cookie, which Acura has none...

I know, pretty trippy but now we know how to piece together any Acura we could ever want! Whoo!!

Now, here’s something special that I’ve been working on just for my friends here in Oppo Dhabi! I present to you, Wobbles the Minds’ ACURA BUILDER 3.0!!!

*Well, why are you reading this sentence when there’s a wicked sweet app below?!*

ACURA BUILDER 3.0

...

...loading...

....

{insert letter}

.....

{insert L, S, or D}

......

{press X}

*boop beep bop beep booooop*

.....

....building....

......

....building....

......

Here is your Acura !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

OH COME ON!!! I just updated this too! Ugh, why does this always happen?!

*sigh*...let’s look at the current lineup.

Acura ILX - the Integra-Legend eXperience

It’s a Civic, everyone loves the Civic! Wait, it costs how much??! Oh...well...everyone loves the Civic! Have you looked at a Civic? Go get a Civic!

Acura TLX - the Total Lack of eXperience

What do you get when you mix a TSX with a TL?...Close! It’s actually the other way around. The TLX is so aggressive, doe! Just think about the fact that it has all the power of a ‘97 NSX going to the front tires as nearly practically standard. You know you’re a little turned on right now...

Acura RLX - the Real Legend eXperiment

You may think I’m going to talk smack about this car, but I’m not. You get SIXTEEN headlights! That’s double the number of standard headlights for any Acura and up to 8x as many from other brands. Add that to the batshit insensible Sport Hybrid, and I’m BBW curious over here!

!!! UNKNOWN HEADER TYPE (MULTI-LINE BREAK?) !!!

Gitflammit! I’m uninstalling that Acura builder!! Anyways, do you see what I mean about that first letter being meaningless? RLX is the flagship sedan, RDX is the entry level crossover, RSX is your neighbor’s mom’s hairdresser’s daughter’s boyfriend’s modded puppy-barker that’s been listed on Craigslist since his dad purchased it.

Acura MDX - Mom’s Daily X-over

Every curb has an apex, or was it curve... Anywhosies, never be late to a St. Pius VII Intermediary Private Acadamy for Those That Succeeded Better’s bake sale ever again! Did you know the term “Yummy Mommys” was popularized by the mother’s themselves at these bake sales? Gross...

Acura NSX - Never Stop XXXing

When the hell did I take my pants off?!! Damn, I guess they should have named it Prom Night...

Well that’s your completely acurate Guide to Acura’s Naming Scheme . Use wisely, fam! Oh, and don’t forget the grill has been changed so technically the MDX is leading Acura’s new design path...yay!

Far from bland, further from interesting. Acura: “Only 90s kids will remember.”

You may also enjoy, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! (2015).

DISCUSSION (7)

Thomas Donohue > Wobbles the Mind
06/10/2016 at 08:09

So, my old Integra wasn’t an Acura?

RT > Wobbles the Mind
06/10/2016 at 13:35

Is an Acura Lexus LX more appropriate?

Wobbles the Mind > RT
06/10/2016 at 13:41

The RX is between the RDX and MDX. If the RX offered three-rows of seating it would be a direct MDX fighter. The RDX competes with the NX but I don’t think most of Oppo remembers either of those compact models. Currently Honda and Acura don’t have any body-on-frame vehicles to directly compare to 4Runner/GX or Land Cruiser/LX.

RT > Wobbles the Mind
06/10/2016 at 13:43

The Land Cruiser/LX has always been in a league of its own after all.

Wobbles the Mind > RT
06/10/2016 at 13:44

Truth!!!

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > Wobbles the Mind
06/11/2016 at 00:22

Does anyone else think the NSX is horrifically overstyled?

Amoore100 > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential
06/11/2016 at 15:20